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(Opening theme. Caption: Now with 100% RDA of Riboflavin)

(PE hangar. Hermes, Zoidberg, Cubert, and the Prof. are waiting. The ship has just landed, and the crew comes out looking seriously disheveled (ripped clothes, hair messed up, Bender has some dents in him and his antenna is bent)

Prof (brightly): So, how was your trip to Gorillaworld?

Leela: Well, we dropped the bananas off on schedule, and everything went completely as expected.

Hermes: You mean that Fry insulted the planet's leader and you had to flee with your very lives.

Leela: Exactly.

Fry: Hey, it was an accident.

Leela: You said, and I quote: "Get your stinkin' paws offa me, you damn dirty ape!"

Fry: So how am I supposed to know they never saw "Planet of the Apes"?

Leela: So, the gorillas start beating their chests...

Bender (interrupting): I tell it better. So the gorillas start beating their chests, right? An' then they all charge us, an' Leela jumps up an' says "Kai-ai-ai-aiaaaaa!" an' kicks the first one in the face, and then she does this sort of foot-sweepy thing and knocks three more of 'em down. Then we make a break for the ship, an' we're about to get off the ground, when the ceiling starts rattlin'!

Zoidberg (nervous): This is so exciting that I may spontaneouly eject my brain! Please continue!

Bender: So we look about the window, and there are about forty gorillas jumping up and down on the roof! So Leela gets up on on the roof, and she's fighting the gorillas all by herself.

Amy: Wait, wait... this is my part of the story. See, all the gorilla jumping knocked the convenience drive offline, so, using only a nail file, a used wad of gum, and a laser welding torch, I managed to...

Bender: Shut up. So, thanks to Leela, and only Leela, we manged to get off the planet with only a few serious internal injuries.

Amy: But if I hadn't repaired the engines, we'd have been...

Fry: Yep, can't beat our Leela.

(Amy stalks off)

Prof.: Well, the important thing is that we got our commission. And having you still alive is a plus, too.

Fry: Well, now that the mission's over, let's get back to slowly killing our brain cells. (turns on the TV)

Leela: Put on the news, Fry, I need to see how the Yankees made out today.

(Linda and Morbo are in a new studio not completely unlike the one on "Today")

Linda: ...and that's how the Yankees did today. That's all for tonight from our lovely new studio, deep in the heart of New New York.

Morbo: MORBO DESPISES THIS NEW STUDIO NEARLY AS MUCH AS HE DESPISES HUMANITY!!

Linda: (chuckles) Coming up tomorrow, Morbo will be interviewing famed chef Elzar.

Morbo: ANOTHER PUFF PIECE? MORBO SHALL BE HAVING WORDS WITH HIS AGENT!!

(Meanwhile, Amy is trying to talk to Zoidberg at a side table)

Amy: ...and then I had to pry open the reactor hatch with the nail file because Bender hocked my crowbar to buy booze.

Zoidberg (getting up): Look, it's not that I'm not interested, it's... Wait, that's it. I'm not interested.

(Zoidberg leaves)

Amy: Yeah, well... (sigh) I really should get some anti-radiation pills. (loudly) Because I was exposed to a lot of radiation! While trying to repair the ship! So we could get off the planet!

(She notices nobody is paying attention. She sighs and dejectedly heads to the Prof's lab.)

Leela: Is it me, or is she upset about something?

Bender: Don't know why. I mean, it ain't like I didn't offer her some of the booze I bought with the crowbar money.

Fry: You didn't.

Bender: I meant to.

Leela: No, you didn't.

Bender: Well, I lied and said I did.

Fry: That's true.

(Interior: Prof's lab. Prof. Farnsworth is here working on something, Amy is rummaging around in the cabinets for the anti-radiation pills)

Amy: ...and it's not that I'm unhappy with my job. I'd just like the rest of the crew to acknowledge my contributions once in a while.

Prof: Eh, what? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening to a single word you said. To makeit up to you, I'm going to show you my latest project.

Amy: That's all right, I just want the anti-radiation pills...

Prof (ignoring her): It's a special formula that will allow the Democtaic Order of Planets to colonize high-gravity planets. It works by increasing human strength to untold levels...

Amy: That's really interesting. Can I PLEASE have the anti-radiation pills?

Prof: Certainly. Here you are. (He gives her three pills, we notice one of them is the wrong color.)

(Yes, I know. Shut up.)

(Cut to PE lounge. Fry, Leela, & Bender are standing around talking.)

Leela: So when she gets out of the bathroom, we're going to apologize for ignoring her.

Bender: And we're gonna all pitch in and buy her a new crowbar. I'll put in this shiny dime here, and you two can pitch in the other $29.90.

Leela: Exactly, except that you're paying the whole thing.

Bender: But I need that money for gambling an' hookers!

(They are interrupted by a loud noise from the bathroom.

Fry: I told her to lay off the tacos.

Leela: That sounded like something ripping out of the wall!

(They rush to the bathroom. Leela kicks the door open. Bender, Leela, and Fry, framed in the doorway, gasp. Hermes comes up behind them)

Hermes: Amy, what in the name of Lenny Kravitz have you done?

(Now we cut to Amy, who is holding the sink. Which she has ripped out of the wall.)

Amy: I... I don't understand. I went in for some water to wash down the anti-rad pills I just took, and... this happens.

Hermes: However it happened, it's comin' out of your salary.

Amy: Wait... The Professor said he was working on some sort of super-strength pill. Maybe I somehow swallowed one of those?

Prof: Certainly not. I hid those pills where no one would find them.

Leela: In the bottle of anti-rad pills?

Prof: Yes, that's it. So you see, there is no way Amy could have taken any, unless she took some anti-rad pills, which she did. (pause) Oh dear.

TO BE CONTINUED!