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(Fry and Leela are walking together in a field covered in beautiful flowers on an alien world.)

FRY: Nice garden.
LEELA: Yeah.
FRY: I think we used have this back in my time...it was called 'Brooklyn Botanical....something'
LEELA:  (raising an eyebrow) 'Gardens'?
FRY: WOW! That' s it, I think! How did you know that?
LEELA: (sighs) It wasn't that hard....

(Leela notices a very strange looking flower.)

LEELA: Hey Fry, look at that very strange looking flower
FRY: Huh, we don't have those on Earth......unless we DO have weeds and I'm mistaking Earth for somewhere else.........like Vulcan, or something.
LEELA: Fry, shaddup. (takes a big whiff of the flower) For something strange, it smells nice..

(The two of the walk on for a ways. Suddenly, Leela stops, bending over, grabbing her stomach and moaning in pain.)

FRY: Leela? LEELA?! Are you OK!?
LEELA: (hard breathing/sweating) I......dunno......I.......gotta......see......the......Prof- (faints)
FRY: (screaming) LEELA!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Fry picks up Leela in his arms and orders Amy to fly back to Earth.)

(Hours later, the ship as arrived in NNYC. Leela lies on a sofa, still unconsious, twitching. Fry is nervously asking Farnsworth and a just arrived Hermes what is wrong with his friend.)

FRY: Well?!? Is Leela all right?
FARNSWORTH: Well, yes and no.
FRY: What the Hell do you mean?!?
FARNSWORTH: It appears the alien pollen has filled Leela with great excitiment and energy that she must release in a very hard, short burst.
HERMES: In other words Fry: Leela's become horny as hell.
FRY: Um..........OK.  What's gonna happen?
FARNSWORTH: Well, unless she wants to explode when her body can't take anymore energy in the next 48 hours, she's going to grab a male and....ya know.... (mumbles)..make whoopie...
FRY: Yipes! We should get someone to help her......
HERMES: (typing on a computer) No such luck Fry. Seeing as this is a spoof of a "Star Trek: Voyager" episode, we have also been graced with the plot-hole of explaining what will happen...According to this, Leela will soon regain awareness, and act is if nothing's wrong. When she grabs a male and bites him in the ear. neck, and shoulder, she has chosen him as her mate and must.....(ahem).....to purge the alien virus. Unfortunatly, the male may suffer great injury....or death........

(While Hermes is explaining this, Leela suddenly sits up, and removes the washcloth placed over her face. She appears normal, as she stride over to the men. None of them have noticed this.)

LEELA: Hey guys.....what are you looking at?
FRY: Nothing, Leela.....just understanding your sickne- HEY! You're awake!!
LEELA: So what? I guess I recovered....
FRY: Oh, good.

(Fry turns back to the monitor, not realizing that she's up for what it's worth. Suddenly, Leela grabs him, and bites Fry on the ear, neck, and shoulder before giggling and running off.)

FRY: OW!!!!!!!!
HERMES: What?
FRY: (rubbing his neck) Leela bit me!!
FARNSWORTH: Where?
FRY: On the ear, neck, and shoulder....why?

(Hermes and the Prof. share a knowing smile.)

FRY: (confused, and not realizing) What?
HERMES: Congradulations, Fry........you are now Leela's mate.
FRY: (horrified, believe it or not) WHAT!?!?!?!??!
FARNSWORTH: Yes........Leela has decided to vent her energy upon you, possibly killing you in the process......Have fun!
FRY: (running around in a small circle) Ohmigod!-Ohmigod!-Ohmigod!-Ohmigod! Ohmigod!-Ohmigod!-Ohmigod!-Ohmigod!-Ohmigod!-Ohmigod!-Ohmigod!-Ohmigod!!!!!!
HERMES: And with a bod like hers, you're upset?!
FRY: Leela will KILL ME!!!!! Assuming she doesn't do it DURING the purging.....
FARSNWORTH: What will Leela do now, Hermes?
HERMES: Hmm........after giggling and running off, Leela will try to seduce Fry several times since he is unwilling. If this does not work, Leela will track down and capture Fry...(turning to smirk at him) And at that point, NOTHING will stop her from getting her man!

(Fry whmpers like a little school girl.)
 

(Later, Fry is watching TV, trying to get his mind off Leela. As if to spite him, Leela strides into the TV lounge in a very spicy/revieling number with her hair down, heading for Fry.)

LEELA: (seductivly) Hello, Fry......
FRY: (paniced) Oh! Um, hi Leela.....
LEELA: What are you doing tonight......?
FRY: Uh.....going to bed, drinking Slurm......why?
LEELA: (now sitting in his lap) Well, why don't I help spice up your night........!
FRY: Um.....no thanks-gotta run! Bye! (walks, then runs out of the room)
LEELA: (thinking to herself) Hmmm........he's tougher then I thought...but I -LOVE- a challange!!!
 

(Fry is now eating dinner. Leela stands beside him, wearing her normal clothes/hair.)

LEELA: Salt?
FRY: Fine.
LEELA: Napkin?
FRY: Fine.
LEELA: How are you?
FRY: Fine.
LEELA: What do you think of my clothes?
FRY: Fine.
LEELA: How's Bender?
FRY: Fine.
LEELA: You wanna go to my apartment and do it?
FRY: Fine.

(Leela pulls Fry into her goofy-look sporting face.)

LEELA: THAT'S what I needed to hear!!

(Leela throws Fry over her shoulder and walks towards the exit. A screaming-the-whole-time Fry manages to squirm free and run screaming towards the lab.)
 

(Hermes and Farnswoth are still looking over the info on Leela's condition. Fry comes running in, completely terrfied.)

FRY: (grabbing Farnsworth by his lab coat) Help! Hide me! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE HIDE ME!!!!!
HERMES: (smirking, raising an eyebrow) Trouble in paradise, Fry?
FRY: Shut up! Please! Help me! I don't wanna die at 25 from sex!!!!
FARNSWORTH: Fry, you must do this for Leela, it's the only way to save her.

(This entire time, Leela has appeared, holding a large burlap bag and slowly heading towards Fry, waiting to strike...)

FRY: But she will kill me afterwords!! (on his knees) Plllleeeeassssseeeeeeee!!!!!!
HERMES: No Fry! Now be a man, and go find Leela and have sex!
FRY: What the Hell is with your reluctance to help me!?! Do you think that if you help me, someone will throw a bag over your head and drag you away?!?
HERMES: No......but that's what going to be happening to you!!
FRY: (whirling around to see Leela) What!!?

(With a war whoop, Leela dives on Fry, bagging him. She then heaves the living parcel on her shoulder, and starts to exit the building.)

LEELA: Hold our calls, OK?
HERMES: Oh sure.........go'wan,  take the next two weeks off with him.....
FRY: (muffled, fading as Leela walks off with him) What!??! NO!!!!! Don't do this to me!! I'll work more then two hours a day, Hermes! I'll wash the floors, I'll clean out the dark matter!! Just don't do this.....(various screams and wails)

FARNSWORTH: (slinging an arm around Hermes) Ah, young love....
 

(Leela has now brought her kicking, thrashing, and screaming baggage to her apartment. She dumps Fry out on her bed.)

FRY: (shaking in fear) Leela, please don't do this to me!!
LEELA: Oh no, Fry! Nothing's gonna stop me from doing this......(becomes suddenly normal) Do you think we were followed?
FRY: (now normal too) I don't think so....you should check.

(Leela does so, and finds nobody there.)

LEELA: (rubbing her hands in glee, laughing) Aw man, I can't believe it worked!!
FRY: I know! Why didn't we think of this in the beginning!
LEELA: Yeah, lifting that from 'Star Trek' was the best idea you've ever had! We had them fooled.....we should be actors! Now we can use those two weeks for our romantic getaway! Ready to see the rings of Neptune?
FRY: Of course.....why wouldn't I be?
LEELA: But first...(smirking/reaching for her scrunchie)...don't we have a fever to purge...?
FRY: (removing jacket/throwing it aside) Well then lay it on me.....!

(Leela dives on to Fry and they start hugging/rolling/kissing very passionatly)
 

(Suddenly, there's a pull back revealing that not only is this on a viewscreen of sorts, but that the screen is in the sickbay of U.S.S. Voyager!)

EMH: (turning of monitor, sitting back/thinking) So that's what it would look like if a cartoon character from the very early 21st century had the Blood Fever. Very intriguing.

(The doors slide open, and Tom Paris and Harry Kim run in, terrified.)

PARIS: (pounding on the window of the EMH's office) DOC!!!!! You have to help us!!!
EMH: Why?
KIM: Tom and I put this Spanish fly suff in some drinks up in the Mess Hall to get the Captain and the Commander to go after each other, but Seven and B'Elanna drank them instead, and they're AFTER US!!!!!!
PARIS: You have to let us in!!!
EMH: (smiling) No.
PARIS: WHAT!?!?!??!?
EMH: It's YOUR mess....besides, I think it will be an excellent file for Starfleet Medical to see the sexual details of these mis-matched relationships...!

(As Harry begins to say something, Seven of Nine and B'Elanna Torres rush into Sickbay, obviously very excitied.)

SEVEN: Ensign Kim......we are going to copulate!
TORRES: C'mere Tom! Lemme get that cute little butt of yours!!

(Tom and Harry scream and start pounding on the window harder. Seven and B'Elanna slowly approach...)

KIM: Come on, Doc! PLEASE!!!!!
EMH: (humming, in sing-song voice) I can't hear you!
PARIS: Doc, you SUCK!!!!!!!!!
EMH: That just bought you five more minutes, Mr. Paris!
KIM: ARGH!!!!!

(Seven and B'Elanna grab their respective man and drag them, kicking and screaming, out of the room. Tom grabs the door, and repeatdly screams "No! No!" before he too is dragged away.)

EMH: That was interesting......
CHAKOTAY: (on the comm-badge) Chakotay to the Doctor, emergency!!!
EMH: What is it, Commander?
CHAKOTAY: I tried to spike the Captain's drink with.....you know.........and TUVOK drank it!!! He's pounding on my door!! HELP ME!!
EMH: Hmm........Vulcan/Human male.....I think this will add more to my files of mating rituals....no can do, Commander!
CHAKOTAY: WHAT!??!?! You little.....

(Over the comm, a sliding door is forced open, and Chakotay screams like a lttle girl.)

TUVOK: (strained) Greetings..........Commander.........
CHAKOTAY: AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH-!!!!!!

(The transmission suddenly ends.)

EMH: Hmm.........THREE rituals in one day! I'll be having fun with my reports tonight!!
 

END.