By: Roscoe Mathieu
TITLE SHOT - Text
Text: "6:37 AM - November 17, 3000"

EXT. SHOT - Space
The PES flies by.

INT. SHOT - Bridge
FRY and BENDER are sitting on the couch (FRY is asleep, BENDER is reading robot porn). LEELA is at the helm. FRY wakes.
FRY: "What are we delivering?"
LEELA: "For the hundredth time, I don’t know."
FRY: "Oh. Where are we delivering it to?"
LEELA: (exasperated) "For the last time: Alpha Oraci."
FRY: "Oh. Why?"
LEELA: (sigh) "Just be quiet."
FRY: "Oh. Wh…?"
LEELA: "No."
FRY: "Oh, okay."
 

(Roll Titles)

EXT. SHOT - Alpha Oraci
The PES lands near to a building. In the background we can hear accordion music. CLOSE UP of the CREW as the exit.
LEELA: "What kind of creature could make that awful sound?"
FRY: "That’s not a creature. That’s an accordion. It’s a musical instrument."
LEELA: "Okay. What kind of creature could play an instrument that could make that awful sound?"
FRY: shrugs. They enter the building with the package, something half as tall as FRY.

INT. SHOT - WEIRD AL’s New Home
WEIRD AL’S HEAD has accordion music playing from speakers aimed toward his ears. His head rocks back and forth. FRY appears in the foreground. WEIRD AL stops.
BENDER: "That kind of creature."
AL: "Thank god, my arm’s here! I thought I’d have to listen to it forever! Drop it over there, would you?"
AL indicates the position in the room by, predictably, pointing his tongue at it. FRY just drops it.
AL: (shouts) "Guys!"
The head of JOHN "BERMUDA" SHWARTZ (grafted onto a robo-dog body with one arm) grabs a long mechanical rod while AL’S DRUMMER (I forgot his name, throw me a frickin’ bone here!) (whose head is grafted onto a spider-body with two drumsticks) holds the package open. The two of them attach a sensor to AL’S HEAD, and set the arm near an accordion.
JOHN: "Okay, boss."
AL: "Turn off the music. (they do so) Would you like to stay for my performance."
FRY, who, like all of them, have been watching in fascination, starts slowly backing up.
FRY: "Uh, no…we really gotta go…"
AL: "C’mon! I’ll give you a Twinkie!"
FRY: (perky) "Okay!"
AL: "Okay, this is "Kid Fights," a parody of "Squid Fights.""
AL starts playing "Kid Fights," (really good considering one arm playing the accordion) and FRY starts to regret his decision. BENDER stuffs two of AL’S DRUMMER’S legs in his ears. LEELA watches in some sort of fascination…for fifteen seconds (at the end of this time, FRY is on the ground clutching his head, BENDER is asleep). Then she wavers a little, her eye wobbles, then she clutches her stomach and runs for a door marked "RESTROOM."

TEXT - "Seventeen Minutes Later"
As AL plays the last cord of "Kid Fights" we hear distinct retching sounds coming from the background.

EXT. SHOT - Space
The PES flies the other direction.

INT. SHOT - Bridge
FRY is sitting at one of the chairs, talking with LEELA, at the helm.
BENDER is not seen.
FRY: "Oh, come on. It wasn’t that bad."
LEELA: "Are you kidding? You were rolling around on the floor. Besides, it wasn’t the music."
FRY: "Then what was it?"
LEELA: "I don’t know! Okay? Is it all right that I don’t know something?"
FRY: "Geez. Lay off." (opens and starts drinking a can of Slurm)
LEELA: "FRY!"
FRY spits out the Slurm.
FRY: "Wait…I have the weirdest sense of Deja Venue."
LEELA: "Um, Fry…"

TEXT - "4:13 PM - November 17, 3000"

EXT. SHOT - The PE building
FRY, LEELA, and BENDER are greeted from their mission by…AMY (who is walking the other direction with some money (out in the open)(in NNY)(with guys like the Organ Merchant Around)).
AMY: "Hey, guys. (looks at LEELA’S stomach) Wow, whad you eat?"
LEELA: "What?"
AMY: "It’s just…never mind. I need to go. I have errands to run for the Professor."
Walks off, we hear someone slip off-screen.
AMY: (OS) "Waaaah!" (thud)
BENDER: (to LEELA)(whispers) "She thinks you’re getting fat."
AMY: (OS) "Guh!"
LEELA: (angry) "Hey! I’m not fat!"
BENDER: "It’s true, ya know. You are a little chubbier than a few months ago…what have you been eating?"
LEELA: (exasperated) "Okay, that’s enough."

TEXT - "7:30 PM - November 18, 3000"

INT. SHOT - The PE building
FRY, BENDER, AMY, HERMES, DR. ZOIDBERG, and DR. FARNSWORTH are sitting around the table. Retching sounds can, once again, be heard in the background.
FARNSWORTH: "I’ll call this meeting to order…(particularly loud retch)…I said…(again)…I’ll call this meeting to order…(retch)…as soon as What’s-Her-Face comes out of the bathroom." (sits back and waits patiently)
Time lapse to…later, where everyone is tired. LEELA comes out of the bathroom, wiping something off her face with a towel.
FRY: "Hey, LEELA, why have you been puking every morning? Shouldn’t you see a doctor about that?"
DR. ZOIDBERG: "I’ll give her a checkup…" (begins getting up)
LEELA looks at DR. ZOIDBERG.
LEELA: (quickly)"Uh, that’s okay. I’ll get one this afternoon."
FARNSWORTH: "Yes, lets all forget about Leela for now, and start the meeting. Hermes?"
HERMES: "Before I start the meeting; have you put on some weight, Captain?"
LEELA: (angry) "No."
HERMES: "Anyway, we got a delivery last night, to take to Alpha Oraci."
FRY: "Oh, no. Not that again."
HERMES: "…and Leela is exempt for medical reasons."
BENDER: "This is one of those times I wish I were human…"
Everyone looks at him.
BENDER: (nervously) "I didn’t say anything!"
HERMES: "Moving on, our next item is the IOUs of the crew to Planet Express, in chronological order: *ahem* (takes out 3x5 cards) Bender, $25 for beer, (turns to next card) Bender, $25 for beer (next card) Fry, $35 for underwear…"
AMY: "You actually bought those?"
HERMES: "Amy, $13 for extra can of bikini top…"
AMY laughs nervously.
HERMES: "And Bender, $5 for robot magazine. Now, you can all pay those now, or suffer incredible interest five seconds from now."
A pile of money is shoved toward Hermes. Hermes continues to stare at FRY.
FRY: "Can I take out an IOU?"
HERMES: "No."
FRY: "Dang." (roots around in his pocket, comes up with $35)
HERMES: "And interest."
FRY: "Crap." (roots around in his pocket again)
 

INT. SHOT - Living Room
In that living room seen in episodes 3 and 7, LEELA is placing a call while sitting on the couch.
LEELA: "Yes, 3:00 will be fine, Dr. Zaryon…what? You’re still with an HMO? Good-bye!" Hangs up and dials again.
LEELA: "Hello, DR. ZARZZOZZZZ? Yes…uh, throwing up, unable to stand classical music…"
FRY: "…bad temper…"
LEELA: "(to FRY) Be quiet! (on phone) …yes, 3:00 will be fine."
Hangs up. FRY stands there.
FRY: "See you later, LEELA."
LEELA: "Good-bye."
FRY stands there.
LEELA: "…and you want…?"
FRY: "What? Oh, nothing."
HERMES: (from off screen) "Fry! Hurry. Bender refuses to carry the package!"
FRY: "Be right there! (to LEELA) Uh…"
LEELA: "To go lightspeed, go to the bottom left on the stick."
FRY: "Got it. Thanks." (runs off)

INT. SHOT - DR. ZARZZOZZZZ’S Office
DR. ZARZZOZZZZ is…Mr. ‘9’!
DR. ZARZZOZZZZ: "Okay…you say you’ve been throwing up in the morning?"
LEELA: "Yes."
DR. ZARZZOZZZZ: "Bad temper?"
LEELA: "Yes."
DR. ZARZZOZZZZ: "A frequent need to go to the bathroom?"
LEELA: "Speaking of which, can I use yours?"
DR. ZARZZOZZZZ: "Of course."
LEELA leaves offscreen, while 9 gets a piece of equipment from a drawer. LEELA returns after roughly ten seconds.
DR. ZARZZOZZZZ: "Okay, take this and stick it in your mouth."
LEELA takes the machine (about the size of a thermometer), looks at it distrustfully, then sticks it in her mouth. After a second it beeps. 9 takes the machine from her mouth.
DR. ZARZZOZZZZ: (looking at machine) "Oh…oh. Ms…uh…LEELA, congratulations.
You’re going to have a baby." LEELA stares for a few seconds, blinks, then falls over.
DR. ZARZZOZZZZ: "Why does this always happen when I announce the pregnancy?" (clicks tongue)

(commercial sign!)
(once back)

INT. SHOT - PE building
LEELA’S eye opens in an extreme close up that zooms out to reveal the PE lounge. She’s lying on the couch under a blanket. The PROFESSOR enters.
FARNSWORTH: "Leela, you’re awake. I was afraid I was going to have to keep poking you forever."
LEELA: "Uh…yeah…Professor, how did I get here?"
FARNSWORTH: "Oh, Zarzzozzzz dragged you in."
LEELA: (apprehensive) "What did he tell you?"
FARNSWORTH: "Only that I should run a DNA test on your stomach, for some reason. Can I do that now?"
LEELA: "I guess."
The PROFESSOR leaves, casting a worried glance at LEELA as he does so. She removes the blanket.
LEELA: (buries her head in her hands) "Oh my God…who could it be? Whose child am I carrying? (a tear falls from her eye) (looks more worried) What if it’s Zapp’s? (scared) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!"
The Professor runs back in with a desktop machine.
FARNSWORTH: "What is it?"
LEELA: (deep breath) (sounding like Zira from Escape from the Planet…) "I’m…pregnant."
FARNSWORTH: (suddenly sensing the seriousness of the situation) "Oh, dear."
LEELA: "Run the test, will you?"
FARNSWORTH: "The wha…?"
LEELA: "The DNA test."
FARNSWORTH: "The…oh, right, yes." (sets machine on table)
LEELA pulls her shirt up to have a thingy attached to her stomach (this scene will duly make Matthew Lenahan salivate all over his keyboard) and the Professor turns on the machine. A printout comes up, and before LEELA can read it, the Professor tears it off and reads it.
FARNSWORTH: "Oh, dear."
LEELA: (apprehensive) "What is it?"
FARNSWORTH: (dead serious) "I used the wrong paper. Here you go." (hands her the paper)
LEELA: "Wait a minute. This says my baby is yours!"
FARNSWORTH: "Oh, I forgot to carry the X, silly me." (runs machine again for another printout)
FARNSWORTH tears the printout off and hands it to LEELA.
LEELA: (aghast) "FRY?"
FARNSWORTH: "Oh, forgot the 1." (re-runs the machine again, and again hands the printout to LEELA)
LEELA: (aghast) "Zapp?"
FARNSWORTH: "The y, the y, always count the y!" (re-runs the machine again, and again hands the printout to LEELA)
LEELA: "Hermes?"
FARNSWORTH: "Oh, not again."
LEELA: (annoyed sound from 04)
FARNSWORTH re-runs the machine again, and again hands the printout to LEELA.
LEELA: "Fry? Are you sure this time?"
FARNSWORTH makes little motions in the air and mumbles to himself, staring off.
FARNSWORTH: "Yes, I’m pretty sure."
LEELA: "When did that happen?"

(WE GOT COMMERCIAL SIGN! AAAHHH!)
(Okay, my little robot friends, back from the break)

EXT. SHOT - PE building
The PE Ship lands in the bay.

INT. SHOT - PE bay
FRY and BENDER exit the craft.
BENDER: "I’m never going back."
FRY: "Oh, come on. It wasn’t that bad. He played "Star Wars" this time."
FRY is pinned against the wall by LEELA. The professor appears in the background.
LEELA: (through gritted teeth) "Okay, you. When did it happen?"
FRY: "What?"
LEELA: "You know."
FRY: "What did I do now?"
LEELA: (letting up) "You mean you really don’t know?"
FRY: (rubbing his arm) "No. What?"
LEELA: (deep breath) "You got me pregnant. The Professor tested the genes."
The professor nods. FRY and BENDER just stare in astonishment. After a good amount of time for dramatic tension, Amy walks down the ramp with a half-empty dish.
AMY: "Hey, guys, look what I…found…in…the…is this a bad time?"
BENDER: turns around.
BENDER: "My swamp root!"
LEELA: "Swamp root?"
BENDER: "Yeah, I’ve had it in there since that trip to Trisol."
LEELA: (piecing it together) "Wait. BENDER, what exactly did you serve us that night?"
BENDER: "On the way there, I served Neptunian Slug and salt water to the entire crew. On the way back, I took a jar of stuff I got half price at the store and the last of the slug to you and Fry."
LEELA: "Professor, are there security monitors in the ship?"
The professor, who has been asleep, wakes up.
FARNSWORTH: "What? Oh, yes, yes. I keep them all near my assorted lengths of wire."
He walks over to the bench and opens a large drawer, filing though tapes. He picks one up.
FARNSWORTH: "To the meeting room!"

INT. SHOT - Meeting Room
The Professor sticks in the tape and heads for the table, where FRY, Amy, and LEELA are already sitting.

MOVIE:
On the screen, a B&W image of BENDER serves up two dishes of what looks like meat and potatoes.
BENDER: "Come and get it!"
LEELA pulls FRY into the dining area.
LEELA: "Fry. Come on! Maybe it won’t be so bad this time. We need to give Bender a second chance."
FRY: "Okay…"
They sit.
BENDER: (checks his chest cavity) "Uh oh…I need some more beer. I’ll go down to the cargo bay and get it."
BENDER walks off the screen. FRY and LEELA both start tasting their "potatoes" at the same time. They both become enormously attracted to one another.
FRY: Hey, LEELA, you’re looking mighty sexy…
LEELA: I know, so are you.
Thus ends the beginning part of the evening. They immediately latch onto each other and begin rolling around on the table.

Back to a shot of the room, we hear LEELA giggling on screen.
FRY: "Wow, I never knew I could do that…"
FARNSWORTH: "I think we can fast forward now." (does so) "Wait a minute, what’s this?"

MOVIE:
We see AMY look around, then sneak down into the kitchen. DR. ZOIDBERG enters. When AMY comes up, she’s startled by the Doctor.
AMY: "Dr. Zoidberg…uh…want some (reads label on jar) powdered swamp root?"
ZOIDBERG: "Thanks." (takes some)

ROOM:
We hear giggles from AMY and ZOIDBERG come from on screen, AMY’S jaw has dropped, LEELA and FRY stare at her, and FARNSWORTH turns the tape off.
LEELA: "That still doesn’t explain something. Why did we all forget our…*ahem*…encounters?"
BENDER: (reading label on (strangely empty) Powdered Swamp Root jar) "May cause uncontrollable desires for nearest member of opposite sex near you. Also be warned causes amnesia of 6 hours immediately following consumption."
LEELA: "So now what do we do, Fry?"
FRY grapples with words for a few seconds, then manages to speak.
FRY: "Da…bud…da…dabo…abortion?"
LEELA: "Fry, no. This is a living human being. We can’t just give it up."
FRY: "You’re right…so what can we do?"
L+F: "I don’t know."
After a long pause.
LEELA: "Would you mind?"
AMY, the Professor, and BENDER all leave, BENDER and AMY grumbling.
LEELA: "I suppose there’s only one answer…have the child."
FRY: "Oh, man…I feel really bad about this…"(thinks for a moment)"…but if you think about it it’s really your fault."
LEELA shoots him one of those "if-looks-could-kill" glances.
FRY: (quickly) "Or not…(pause)…how are we going to support it?"
LEELA: "You guys have room in your apartment?"
FRY looks at her. They edge closer and closer, until they kiss a quick one.
FRY: "I can’t think of any other options."
LEELA: "So…I guess that’s it then."
FRY: "Yeah…(pause) I think we should call BENDER in here."
LEELA: "Uh, right."
FRY: "Hey BENDER!"
BENDER walks in.
FRY: "Do you think we could fit one more person in the apartment?"
BENDER: "Probably." (takes a beer out of his chest and starts drinking)
FRY: "Do you think Leela could maybe…possibly…"
BENDER: "Okay." (keeps drinking)
FRY: "Right. That’s it…by the way, how long until the baby’s birth?"
LEELA: "Uh…about 6 months."
FRY: "Wow…does Nathaniel sound good to you?"
LEELA: "No…! How about Fela?"
FRY: (makes half-half motion with hand) "Meh."

TEXT SHOT - "Over the next 7 months…"
Shows a time-lapse picture of LEELA getting progressively more and more pregnant (with labels). Until…

INT. SHOT - DR. ZOIDBERG’S Office
LEELA is on a bed, with FRY and BENDER standing next to her. FRY keeps running around in little circles, much like the "Fire, fire fire fire fire" guy from the Simpsons’ "Mountain of Madness". DR. ZOIDBERG is standing in front of LEELA.
DR. ZOIDBERG: "Okay. I read up on this. Now you’re supposed to feel pain."
LEELA: "I don’t feel anything."
DR. ZOIDBERG: (looking around) "Okay, then. You’re supposed to push something or other."
LEELA: "You mean this?" (clenches her teeth and grimaces)
DR. ZOIDBERG: "Yes, that’s the thingy. Now, keep pushing that thingy."
LEELA: "You know, Fry, the father is supposed to give moral support here." (starts pushing)
BENDER looks at FRY, going around in little circles.
BENDER: "I’d say that he needs moral support here."
DR. ZOIDBERG: "Okay, I see purple coming from the thingy. I think that’s your young."
LEELA: "It better be, this is starting to ache."
DR. ZOIDBERG: "Done!"
FRY stops circling. Zoidberg hands him the baby in a blanket, and he presents it to LEELA. She has purple hair with orange highlights, FRY’S nose and mouth…and LEELA’S eye.
FRY: "Okay, Bender. I owe you five bucks; she has one eye."
LEELA: (sitting up) "Pretty, isn’t she?"
FRY: "Yeah, I guess she is."
LEELA: "Does Fela sound good to you?"
FRY: "Sure…(starts tickling Fela) a goochie goo, a gooch…Ow! (starts shaking hand) She bit my finger! I…oh, she was hungry."
LEELA starts laughing under her breath.

(ROLL CREDITS)